My long lost friend.

>> Friday, April 03, 2009

My husband does not like it when I try to share my stories about Syamil. I understand his sentiment as not everybody can understand that a boy and a girl can be the best of friends, and nothing else. It was part my fault as well, because no thanks to my upbringing environment with 5 brothers and no sisters, and 5 years of all-girls boarding school, I didn't know that we should treat a boy friend differently with a girl friend, giving everybody else the false impression. Well, how would I know?

My mother never told me this kind of stuffs, whatmore my father, who took me to warung to have a glass of teh tarik and lepak for hours everytime I went back kampung during schoolbreak. Like, hello? Am I one of your sons? I'm a girl for god sake. Fathers are not supposed to lepak at warung with their teenage daughters drinking teh tarik. My brothers? Hopeless. They treated me like I'm one of their kind, and went flirting with girls in my existence. I didn't have a clue without this boy-girl rule. How naive.

However, my husband should be grateful about my friendship with Syamil, for the valuable lesson that Syamil had taught me, giving such a big impact to my life. I am sure Syamil himself does not know this, since we kind of drifted apart when I left university hostel and did not go to library anymore hehe.

I used to be such a stubborn, egoistic, never-say-sorry kind of girl. I had many times being told bluntly on my face that I was such a cold, heartless person. As my petsister put it,"hati batu", while she ran away with tears on her cheek.

Due to this, I have never been lucky in relationship. So one night during my teaching him accounting session, out of the blue I complained about my-so-not-lucky-with-love and after silently listening to my stories, he said simply,"Ego takkan ke mana," without any further elaboration.

I was so stunt. I was like, damn wasn't he so right? From that moment onwards, his voice saying this magical word kept on toing toing in my head whenever I have my "ego" moment. I finally able to admit my feelings to my then boyfriend and now husband hehe. And, whenever we have that boyfriend-girlfriend or husband-wife fight, that very statement helps me to cool down and bite my lips to end the argument, and pursue the issue only when both of us seems more rational to discuss.

Wherever you are, Syamil, I thank you utmost for that simple but valuable lesson you taught me, and I am sorry if I ever hurt you in anyway, especially abandoning you when you need my help with accountings, not because of the reasons you may have thought but I was actually too absorbed into love with that fair, long-haired guy with dangerous brown eyes that wrinkles when he smile that I abandoned my friends [not only you actually, even my girlfriends hated me during that period] and I am not proud to admit this, but I'm truly sorry. [Oh god, I actually say all those in just one sentence]

May Allah bestowed you with happiness and joy. Again, thank you for being a friend.


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